I knew it would get worse before it got better but I was not prepared for all the curve balls being thrown my way.
After my doctors appointment today I thought, I am not posting on my blog, it is too personal and I am not letting anyone know I am getting worse as I feel it is a sign of weakness. But after sitting on it a couple of hours I have realised I can put my ego aside and not always be the happy go lucky strong person and be OK with getting sick. And I also committed to sharing my story so why stop now.
Hell, where do I start? I am at 9%- nothing new I expected it to be lower and my creatine is at 5.85 - which I was OK with hearing that awful number. I have to go to my regular doctor and get a B12 shot on Thursday- I can't remember why but I must need it. Now the wrench in my plans- I am severely anemic and at this point my Doctor feels taking iron pills will not help so I have to go into the hospital 5 times to get an infusion of iron for 1 hour each time. I guess it should help me feel better so I am trying to think a few hours out of my day for the next week is a good thing.
He also said I am now at borderline of dialysis- I am getting into the danger zone. So hopefully we find out this week or next week if Sara's final test was a pass. By my next appointment in 4 weeks if I do not have the transplant ready I have to start dialysis. Also- the dialysis I want takes up to three months to have a surgeon put the tube in my stomach so I might have to do dialysis in my neck in the meantime.
He also said I can't be sick before my transplant so if I start to vomit- (yes a lovely side effect of kidney disease) I have to go into the Emergency Room to have the dialysis done in my neck asap. So you can imagine how bad I want to stay feeling OK. I have not had any nausea in the past few weeks and now I pray that I do not have this until I get my surgery. I mean the neck? really? How freaking gross!!!!
I am so glad my mom was at the appointment with me because I can't go to these bad new bears meetings anymore alone.
So after getting all this overwhelming information at the doctor I had to pull myself together and went to Caesars for a meeting. I didn't think I could put on a happy face but I found the strength to be OK at that moment and when I saw my friend Michael who is always so good to me I knew I could push through this.
On the bright side- My Dad is coming to Vegas tomorrow to help me with the doctors and kids and shopping so I feel I will not be as overwhelmed as before. Oh- I forgot to mention no more protein at all- I had to cut meat way down but now I am on a strict vegetarian diet. So glad Sara and Collette are coming over Saturday to hang out and make Vegan Burritos :) I am sure between Collette being a vegan and My Dad's Wife being a Vegetarian I can get some good recipes. I love to cook so I am not eating plain food- I need to get ideas for great meals. I guess I need to get a Costco size bag of chicken nuggets in case my kids do not like the new menu.
I am in a really good place again, feeling like I can conquer the world if only my body would let me. Everytime I get knocked down and think I am going to breakdown I pull myself back up and become happier in life then I was before because What is life really? Just a bunch of setbacks and rollercoaster rides so I might as well enjoy mine.
Until I write again!
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