Hockey night with friends and family!

Way to go number 5....looking hot out there!!!

And number 5 scores the winning goal....even sexier :)

Hanging out!!

Many many thanks!!!

I went out last night- actually until the wee hours of the morning.  I had a lot of fun just was hanging out laughing and meeting some really great people. I am very blessed to have such good friends who love to hang out and have great conversations- we could have talked until daybreak.

I am grateful to be feeling good again!!  Even after not sleeping I feel great today....it is the magic tiny pill ! Thank you Lord for answering my prayer- as I try not to ask for much but I called in a favor and he answered.

Another day for the books!!

I hope I do not jinx myself by writing this but I had another great health day!!   Could this tiny pill be the answer to my health?  I felt about 85% today which is about as good as I can feel so I will take it with gratitude.  I even had to work all day..Caesars, Rio, Lunch, Town Square and Cosmopolitan plus I still have energy.

I must say I love the Cosmo.  The pool on the roof with pool tables, couches and TV's to watch sports and such....I know where I am having my next staycation!!  I can't wait to hang out there, kids will have to go to grandma's for this trip...guess I'll bring them to Disney to make up for it :)

I don't know where I am going tomorrow or what I am doing but I know I won't be sitting at home.

Wish me luck!!!

PS..here is my favorite photo of my sister.  As long as she isn't hunting animals her gun toting ways are OK with me.    I told her if she is my donor I will get  a tattoo in honor of her whatever she picks.  I just hope she is kind to me and doesn't make me tat my entire back or something!!!  (for those that have not seen her arms she is tatted up...awww my cute Air Traffic Controller :)





Just a few of her Tat's

Now we are talking!!!

Yesterday I didn't feel good at all, it was such a long day.  Today I woke up feeling so much better, I took a medication last night that I had stopped.  It is a beta blocker that helps protect the kidney but my doctor said it wasn't helping so I didn't need to take it anymore.  But I wonder if it helps my body so I might take it again tonight and see if this is the key to giving me more strength.  Man I wish it was Friday, the sun is shining, the music is up loud and I want to dance.

OK- so here is a pet peeve!!  Yesterday right before school was let out two mom's in their huge SUV's were fighting while driving.  Windows down yelling at each other and having road rage right in front of the school in the school zone.   This is something I have never understood.  Is life so hard that you have to be angry if someone goes before you at a 4 way stop sign that you have to chase them for a few blocks?  Life is only as hard as we make it!  We all have problems and worries- but it is how you deal with them.  If someone cuts me off while driving I just feel sorry for them for being a bad driver.  I could not imagine screaming at them, driving fast etc.   So people check your ego's at the door when you get in the car and just be happy you have a car to drive in the first place.  Plus you look like an idiot being angry over something so trivial.


Off my soapbox- gotta go work!!! 

Come on People...

Please take my blog with a grain of salt.  While I appreciate all the phone calls yesterday and visits to my house I want to let you know I am not in a deep depression :)   I am more annoyed with my body and even pissed off at times and yes sad at times also.

It is very hard to be a person who always wants to enjoy every second life has to offer and go through life happy just to be alive everyday but stuck at home.  I like doing things and being with people and to be stuck at home sick really sucks!! 

Well Saturday I did make it to the park- (twice) with the girls and met some good friends out to enjoy the weather.  However being on my feet all day took a toll and my feet swelled up so I could not walk later in the day...so NO Girls night for me...AGAIN!!!  

This week I am not going to work my events and really just try and relax so Friday Night I can make my goal of getting out of the house.  I hope if I work from home all week and am not running around the strip seeing clients this will help my energy.

I finished all my paperwork today for the transplant- hope you are confident Sara Jayne because I listed you!!!  I also went through my medication and threw a lot of it away...not sure how I feel about this.  glad to not have to take a million pills but sad that nothing is going to help me now.



Hard to read but it says do you have a donor...YES SARA!!



Hope everyone has a great week!!!  I am

looking forward to more sunshine and will be counting down the days until Friday.  This might seem like a silly goal but if I can go out on the weekend and not feel sick it is me saying Screw You to my body- you are not taking over my life!!

You never really know what people mean when they say you have nothing if you don't have your health....I mean truly know what they mean until yours is taken away.  My life was so good and so much fun, work, traveling, the weather, the kids....what I wouldn't do to have it all back again!!

All my medication!!!

Should I or Shouldn't I...

Well this is the post I did not want to write since the day I decided to start a blog.  It isn't that I have more bad news or things have changed really.  It is the post where I actually decide to tell the truth and share a part of me I usually keep reserved for those chosen few.   Although most people would not think so I am a very private person when it comes to sharing my feelings.  So this blog entry has taken me 3 days of contemplating whether to write it or not but as I sit after a very long day of being ill I have decided to share.

OK- so first off, I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled on Monday.  Pain wasn't bad at all but recovering from the anesthesia set me back a lot longer then I would have thought.  I was very weak and tired for several days after the surgery.

Second-  I visited my Kidney Doctor on Thursday and he said I am at 15% now.  I really need to start dialysis to try and regain some of my health but I have decided to hold off until I meet with the transplant team and see what my odds are of getting a kidney first.  My Doctor also said I can stop all the medication except 4 pills- because at this point nothing is slowing it down- those were not the words I wanted to hear.

So what does this mean?  Well holding off on dialysis for a few months means I am going to be sick, very sick for the next few months.  To be honest I am already very sick but drag myself off the couch and get dressed to get the girls at school.  I sit on the floor shaking as I do my hair to take the girls to the park or out to dinner.  I sit on a chair in the kitchen each morning as I am too weak to stand while I make their lunches for school.  This morning I went into Jordan's room to get her dressed for school and collapsed on the floor and couldn't get up. 

Now I do have good days and good moments but I guess I need to share that I have bad moments also that I have not told anyone about except my very inner circle.  It is hard to describe how I feel on my bad days but imagine (if you drink) your worst hangover- the kind where you can't get out of bed without being shaky or weak.  That is how I feel most days when I wake up, but I try and push through it to give my girls a normal life and still enjoy the fresh air and love life.  It is just getting harder each day to provide this normal routine I like.

Another reason I am trying to hold off on dialysis is that the type I am doing does not always work for everyone and it is actually a difficult procedure to put a catheter into my stomach.  My Kidney Doctor said he isn't even sure if there is a good doctor in town he trusts.  So this comes with risks also, hence the reason I want to pursue transplant before dialysis.

On Feb. 17th I meet with UMC Tuscon Transplant Team in Henderson, they come to Vegas once a month which is nice because I am not ready to travel down to AZ.  I have a 20 page form to fill out this weekend and mail back to UMC Vegas and then I will receive a meeting with their transplant team.  I am very close to having all my questions answered it is just a matter of time and hanging on.

Today my wish might seem selfish but I just want to have a good day on the weekend- I want to go out for a beer on a weekend.  I have not been out on a Friday or Saturday night since Halloween and I just want to feel normal one night and have dinner or have a beer at a bar.  OK- for those that know the Halloween story I know I am asking for trouble but I won't be as crazy if I go out again!!!!   I was hoping tonight was the night I got to get dressed and do my hair and go out but I woke up sick as a dog and still at 10:30PM on a Friday Night I feel awful.   I hope tomorrow is a good day- I want to take the girls to our favorite park up by Red Rock and I want to go out to eat or out for a beer.  It just sucks I can't predict my schedule because my body dictates my days now.

Although I have not told my best friend- I was going to go to Minneapolis for a girls weekend before I started dialysis but at this point I can't guarantee I won't be sick so I am not traveling home for a girls weekend.  It wouldn't be much fun laying on the couch sick as I watch them drink wine and eat good food.

My life is about to go one of two ways in the next few months- I can find a match for my kidney and be healthy again by summer.  Back to taking trips to Cali and the beach, heading to Disney for a few days and having a normal life. OR I could have to go on the donor list and start dialysis which would mean not a lot of travel, 10 hours a night of a tube in my stomach and 2-3 years possibly of waiting for a kidney.  

I actually felt sorry for myself this week- not a common thing for my soul to feel.  I have been OK with being sick and handling everything but when my body is taking over my life I started to feel resentment.  Trying to find things to be happy about and love became more difficult this week.  I hope next week it is easier to love life and I am not looking for reasons.

Girls Weekend...

...Actually every weekend is girls weekend but tonight we all went out to Town Square for some fun!!  Dinner at Claim Jumpers and Pottery to make some art.  The girls all wanted to sleep over but after Rumi and I worked 60 hours last week with CES and other conventions it was best to call it a night.   Need to take it easy this weekend and relax because I am going out next weekend for...girls night!!! 

OK about the Medical stuff-  this is the week I should hear from the transplant team to schedule my appointment to get tested.  I really want to be tested soon and have my sister tested because if we are a match not only can we schedule a transplant in the next few months but I could avoid dialysis.  Of course this is the best case scenario so I just have to keep my fingers crossed.

I have been doing pretty good with my new diet just eating mostly vegetarian but now my doctor says my Phosphates are too high from too many fruits and veggies.  Pretty soon I will just be able to eat noodles and olive oil, that seems to be the only safe food for me.  I still have beer and soda but have cut way back on my intake.  The doctor said my other levels are all good so liquids are not as restrictive at this point as long as I do not have too many liquids in one day.

Ava and Alexa

Jordan and Izabella

Girls at Dinner

Hanging with Alexa after Town Square!

Happy 2011

New Years was a lot of fun!!   Rumi got a suite at JW Marriott and we had a nice dinner and hung out. The girls had a blast.  I hope everyone has a great 2011 and I get a kidney :)   Here are a few photo's from our little party.