WHAT????

So I went to give blood again today and they were running about 10 tests on me for UMC Las Vegas.  I am in the Quest Lab and the front desk girl (who knows me since I am there every week)  tells me that she can't do 2 of the test because it is spinal fluid and they have to do a spinal tap.  It was a quiet waiting room and you could hear about 5 people give an UGH all at once.  We all started laughing and I said "Why did you tell me that?"  she said "I have to tell you it is in the spine."   So here I was thinking Oh man, every time I think I am handling things really well I get another curve ball.

I have just come to terms with accepting a tube in my stomach in the next month and now I have to process getting a needle in my spine?  It was bad enough doing it twice during labor but again??  REALLY??  Come on, give me a break!!!! 

Sometimes I think I just want to break down and crawl into a ball and cry.  But I do not let myself get down- I am not sure if I would even know how to break down and cry at this point.  I have to keep going for my kids and I have to keep working to make money until I can't work anymore.

It is hard to have to keep letting go of things- I can't exercise right now because I get winded and my body isn't toned which drives me nuts- I can't eat the foods I want- or go dancing- or keep the house in perfect condition like I want- I can't take my kids to disneyland or any mini vacation anymore-- I can't work and do sales like I want- I can't make long term plans or make future plans- all of this drives me NUTS!!!!!

Ok done with my pity party!  Doug is a guy who had a transplant the end of Feb. in Pittsburgh and is coming back to Vegas this week, I can't wait to go out to dinner and hear all about his experience.  Most of the patients are elderly so it will be so nice to talk to someone in their 20's who has gone through this!!  I look forward to the day I get to post I am on my way back to Vegas!    Congrats DOUG!  I am so happy for you :)

PS- still no word on UMC Tuscon and Sara....BOOOO   they need to move faster!!