May maybe??

Just talked to UMC Tuscon and things are moving.  I finished all my tests so I am ready to go.  Sara has an ekg on Monday and then an angio (still to be scheduled).  The angio is to look at which kidney they are going to take.  After that test the board of doctors reviews our case and if all looks good they approve us.  Once approved we can have the transplant in one to two weeks.  So it looks like Tuscon in May sometime.

I am very excited to start the next chapter of my life but need to be patient.  I am also sad because my kids are going to be without their mom for 2 to 3 weeks.  I hope this won't be too hard on them,  Jo already asked for me to bring a big suitcase so she can hide in it.  Alexa isn't saying much but has told me that I always ruin their plans when I get sick.  I don't want her to be angry over this but she is already feeling very upset.  I try to give her lots of love but it isn't enough, she process's everything and if life isnt going exactly how she thinks it should be she gets very upset. 

All of this has made me feel bad as a mother.  I try to give them a fun loving life and it still is not enough.  When Alexa told me I ruin everything it broke my heart.  I think is this really too hard on her?  Or is she just spoiled going to the park and movies and dinner and disney all the time that when we have to sit at home she is just being spoiled. I wish someone could give me  the right answer.  I have never spoiled my kids with material things but I do over indulge in the time I spend with them and i think maybe this will make her stronger.  I guess I will have a lot of time to think about my relationship with my kids when I am away.